Dating And Seduction

The Chick I Was Obsessed With

I’ve written about obsession before in the article Always Avoid Obsessing Over One Woman. If you didn’t read it, make sure you check it out. Obsessing over a girl is never a good thing because the obvious thing is that you’ll end up getting hurt. I’ve always insisted on this fact; the ratio of feelings between a man and woman should be 30:70 in favor of the man, never 50:50 or 80:20. She should love/like you more than you like her otherwise she’ll make you suffer in the long run. Meanwhile, let me tell you a story about something that happened in early 2015.

One thing that used to bother me a lot a few years back when I was trying to graduate from novice to expert in coital arts was when a chick would come to spend a night (or even an afternoon) at my place then found it appropriate kuninyima vitu the very last minute. Guys experience it everyday. It is an existential crisis. Imagine the frustration of having your dick within invasion distance of her punani only to see sex vanish with a poof as she says “Si nilidhani tulifaa tu kuchill.” I can painfully remember the number of hot chicks who left my house back in the day without us doing anything – maybe just a kiss if I was lucky. It happened a lot, until I had enough. .

There’s this chick I preyed on for several weeks during my campus days. Her name was Lilly. The girl was an obsession to me – cherry lips crystal white teeth, and shiny eyes that were sculpted upon her creamy face like dazzling jewels. I didn’t think there was any other woman in the world that was hotter than her. Her hair consisted of black strands that cascaded down her back like molten onyx. I didn’t know whether it was natural or artificial but I preferred to convince myself that it was artificial, just for the sake of legitimizing her beauty even further. I was struck by how protuberant her eyes were and the prominence of her cheekbones I was amazed by how she walked. Whereas the average person just walked along, barely aware of their surroundings, on autopilot, Lilly moved quickly over everything in front, before she made a step.

I remember seeing her several times at the KU library, mostly in the company of her fellow hot friends. I rarely saw her alone, which made it even difficult to approach. No guy ever wants to be laughed at by a group of hot chicks when his vibe backfires. I would lift my eyes from my book just to watch Lilly study. Her expression was a serenity that never failed to put me at ease, How elegantly her finger would stroke the words, how occasionally she would yawn, her mouth probably needing food but me feeling it needed a kiss – my kiss.

I managed to approach her a number of times and invite her for dates but I was never successful. She eluded me, no matter what I tried. Convinced that she was out of my league, I gave up and focused on other girls. I was very successful with other girls by the way, and this made me forget about Lilly. They say the best way to rid a girl from your head is to bang lots of other girls. That’s completely true. I forgot about Lilly completely, until I met her again at Java in Kimathi Street sometime in early 2015.

I was having coffee with a colleague. When he stood up to leave, I saw Lilly, sitting with some friends, several tables away. Lilly had been there all along and my friend had just been obstructing the view. I obviously didn’t have her number and I didn’t want to shout nor walk over to her like I was some desperate idiot, so I requested one of the waitresses to call her for me.

“Mwambie ule boy ako na spects na shati ya white anamuita.”

The waitress did as instructed. She walked over to Lilly, spoke a few words before pointing to my direction. As a soon as Lilly turned to look, I lifted my hand and signaled her with my index finger to come over.

There’s an art to using your index finger to call someone as opposed to using the whole hand. Using the index finger denotes authority. It shows you are in control. It makes the person you are calling fear you and respect you even more. That was a technique I learned in a documentary about flirting and it worked.

 

The moment Lilly saw my finger up in the air, she smiled, picked up her coffee, told her friends she was moving to another table before coming over to mine.

We had a lot of catching up to do. We talked about our lives, careers and everything else. She told me she loved movies but she never what to watch sometime. It just so happened that I was the admin of a certain Whatsapp group where people recommended movies to each other, I offered to add her. She was glad. She also told me she didn’t have a boyfriend so I figured it would be easier for me to seduce her.

I asked her what she would be doing on Friday night and she said she didn’t have any concrete plans. My initial plan had been to go watch a new movie at IMAX with some of my boys but boys can always wait. I asked Lilly if she would be interested in accompanying me and she agreed.

That Friday, we met at around 7pm, had a meal at some restaurant in the CBD before heading over to IMAX. I cannot even remember what happened in the movie. We were all cuddly and I couldn’t even concentrate. Desires were prominent and my mind could only focus on what we would do after. I was sure we were going to bang that night.

After the movie, we took a matatu and headed straight to my place. It looked like we were both in the mood but it turned out I was the only one. I locked the door then we stood facing each other and gazed into each other’s eyes longingly, not a word spoken by us. Nothing needed to be said. Millions of years of evolution had taken care of the message. I was lost within the breathless paradise of her dreamy lashes. My breathing hastened the intense rhythm of my heartbeat undergoing an irregular count, hammering like music festival drums as my hands slithered towards her body. When I went for the kiss, she stopped me.;

“Haiyaaa!! Unatry what? Imagine I just wanna sleep.”

What? We had dinner and a movie just for her to come and sleep? She couldn’t be serious. Maybe she required a little more convincing. I tried to negotiate for about two more hours but she was having none of it. She showed herself to my bed and slept soundly like it was no big deal. I tried to initiate sex again two more times that night but she remained firm. Access had been denied.

In the morning, she woke up at 6, didn’t even take a shower and said she was leaving.

“Si unipeleke stage!!!” she requested. She was smiling as she said this. Smiling.

I didn’t even respond. I was too angry to voice my displeasure, I just woke up, opened the door before returning to my bed and pulling a blanket over my head.

Lilly showed herself out.

Later on, when I checked my phone, there were a few Whatsapp notifications. Lilly had left my group. Fuck her!!! I was devastated. And that was the day I vowed such nonsense would never happen to me again. And it never did. From that day, no chick has ever come to my place then I failed to bang her.

Nowadays, I make sure a chick knows what’s gonna happen before she comes to my place. This way, there’s no push and pull akifika kejani. There are guys who don’t mind begging for lungula and negotiating the whole night until the chick either gives in or gets uncomfortable and says she wants to leave. But if you are a guy who hates that last minute push and pull, always try your best to seal the deal before the chick come over. Before inviting her over, make sure knows what will happen. An agreement has to be made. This can be achieved through neat and consistent flirting either by phone or text.

Don’t be the guy that’s barred from entry in the last minute.

About Philip Etemesi

I am the Sheriff in this town. Writing is my joie de vivre. I'm a Superman, thanks to God. Need to reach out to me? Send an email via alamuphilip@gmail.com I always respond.
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