Sitakatia Dem Kiatu Tena Mimi

This past weekend at The Tunnel in Mombasa Road, I attempted to ask a girl for her number at the end of the night when the deejay had begun playing boring old schools to signal that it was time for all us drunkards to go home. She wasn’t pretty but she had pretty lips and looked like she could nyonya hiyo kitu perfectly. Without thinking too much about it, I just approached her, talked to her for two minutes, and gave her my phone.

Me: We should hang some time. Let me get your number. Here, type it in.

Her: Sure, sounds great! [types her # in my phone and hands it back to me]

Me: [looking at the number with no name attached] So… how do you spell your name?

Her: How do I spell it? It’s a simple name, there’s only one way to spell it!

Me: Yeah, but you may like spelling it in a cool way, with extra vowels or something (what was I even saying)?

Her: You forgot my name, didn’t you?

Me: Well, hey, I bet you forgot my name too, so we’re even.

Her: No, your name is [she says my actual name].

Me: Hm, wow, that’s pretty good. But actually, I think I told you my name was [minor variation on my name].

Slightly above-average girl walks off without giving me her name. Mission unaccomplished.


This is a prime example of what can go wrong during a pickup when the girl you are talking to is not hot enough to keep you mentally focused on the task at hand. You get sloppy and let your mind jump ahead to thoughts of mashing her tits together. Had she been better looking I would not have forgotten her name. But even if I had, I would’ve answered stronger and saved the number close.

The conversation might have gone like this:

Her: Sure, sounds great! [types her # in my phone and hands it back to me]

Me: I have a confession to make. Our conversation was so intense and I got so into the things you were telling me about your life that I forgot your name.

Her: Perfect

If you are constantly forgetting girls’ names, you are probably aiming too low.

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