There’s a malady among young men or even unfocused older men that hasn’t really been addressed. When in the company of their buddies and the topic of discussion happens to be women, some guys are fond of lying that they smashed so and so yet they actually didn’t. In reality, they just smashed their own hands and shot cum into empty air. Oh my word….such wasted ammunition. They just lie to impress their friends and get validation.
“Huyo dem nilishamkula” is a common phrase that pops up in male circles. If you conduct some extensive investigation, you’ll discover that the person saying that probably got friend-zoned a long time. He has never even touched the girl he claims to have banged. She never responds to his “umekula nini?” texts and has never even allowed him to move less than 100 centimeters close to her. Maybe she doesn’t even know him. When you look at that guy closely, you realize he’s the kind of person who cannot even manage to seduce a mboch. Yet he’s there telling stories of how he smashed a certain model somewhere or how he took the hottest chick in his office home.
The lengths to which some men would go to get respect and admiration from their peers saddens me.
I can imagine being one of these unfortunate girls whose names get invoked by the fantasy boys. Some dude somewhere who isn’t even your type is lying to his boyz that he was inside you….fully and completely. Pretty pathetic huh.
Ladies, you might be wondering why men do this. Well, If you’re fairly attractive, a guy can acquire social capital by creating the perception that you’ve slept with him.
When a group of guys finds a woman attractive (and most people in the group haven’t slept with her), the woman’s act of sleeping with the guy is perceived as her “marking him as her equal”, whereas other men in the group are “inferior” because they haven’t succeeded in sleeping with the woman.
This creates an incentive for some deceptive and unscrupulous males to spread such a falsehood if they can get away with it. It’s because you barely know him that he didn’t expect you to get wind of this rumor, which is one reason why he’s using you to score some social points.
I am totally against this behavior because I hate people who lie in order to climb any kind of ladder. I like people who earn their place. If you want to be seen as the man, you have to smash that hot girl for real and not perpetrate fake news about fake copulation. It’s foolish.
Better yet, stop trying to impress your friends. Trying to be someone who is diametrically opposed to who you are inside is a recipe for frustration and failure. Shrewd men work to impress themselves and beat their own records not impress friends.
Focused men are out there buying land and investing in various businesses while you are here lying about sleeping with Mwende. See your priorities.
You might feel good for a brief moment when your friends are in awe of your fake achievements and when they tell you how “you are the man” but how will it help you in the long run?
Don’t be a social circle jockie who uses hangout time with friends as a means for validation and keeping up the illusion that you are some kind of seduction guru or big pimp. When you let go of the need for validation to feed your ego, only then can you develop real core confidence and not fake core confidence that is based on the approval of other people.
Seeking the approval of other men is actually worse than seeking the approval of women. It is way way way more chode. There is a fine line between seeking feedback to help speed up your progress, and seeking a pat on the back from other guys.
What does validation get you in practical terms? Nothing. Maybe you get a small burst of dopamine and a few good emotions when you hear “Wewe ni mnoma buda…Tumekuinulia mikono“…..but then what? The problem is that you should be learning to generate good feelings from within. You should be the one to make yourself happy and not be happy because of what other people think of you.
If you want to find the glitch in the matrix that is core confidence, this behavior needs to be replaced with seeking approval only from yourself. The only person you are competing with is you. Keep that in mind with every action that you take. Are you doing something to impress others or are you doing it purely because you want to do it?
Lying about smashing women that you haven’t really smashed is childish behavior. Grow up!!
