I am a huge Chelsea fan and I hardly ever miss a game or forget a dribble. I began supporting Chelsea exactly 11 years ago when I was still in high school. In fact the only suspension I ever got was after I had sneaked out together with a few other buddies to go watch a Chelsea Vs Middlesbrough game at the nearby town. I even remember the scores. It was 2-0. Drogba scored that day, after racing through to the box following a slick one-two with Frank Lampard. The second goal was from Alex, who crashed a wonderful 30-yard free-kick past Mark Schwarzer. I was overjoyed, but while we tried to sneak back into our Sobibor of education, we were caught by the teacher on duty and suspended the following day. My parents never found out though because I got my brother to come and settle things for me.
At least nowadays I have the liberty to watch a game wherever I want. There are times I don’t feel like I can handle the noise at a club so I just stay at home and watch online through sites such as Watchsports.live or Front Row Sports. Sometimes my pals come through to watch with me as was the case this past Sunday (April 30th) when Chelsea were playing Everton. Gidi showed up with five other people that I didn’t know. Three guys and two yummy-looking chicks. Gidi is one of my most trusted lieutenants. He always has my back. He is to me what La Quica was to Pablo Escobar. So whoever he comes with, I always don’t mind.
One of the guys, his name was Erico I think, had come with bottles of Jameson so everyone kept on sipping as the game proceeded on my laptop and music played from the other side. For my part, I took wine that I had kept on one of the cupboards. It was the only thing I was craving for.
The game proceeded well but the girls were not even watching. They were busy engaging us in story-telling, and giggles, which we didn’t mind .
When the game reached half time, I retreated back to my bedroom and took out my second laptop to read a new Piers Morgan article online. While at it, I played some hip hop. Minutes later, one of the chicks appeared at my bedroom door. I hadn’t closed it.
“Sasa Phil…it’s Phil right?” she presumed.
“Yea…it’s Phil.” I affirmed,
“Naitwa June by the way. Loo ziko wapi? I am kinda pressed.” she inquired.
I directed her, then she glided away as I took last glimpses of her ass before it disappeared. After a brief moment, she appeared again, this time walking right into the bedroom and looking around. She then came and placed her butt just next to the laptop, on the office desk I have in my bedroom. As she sat, her skirt pulled up,exposing a significant surface area of her yellow thighs and occasionally revealing a fraction of her red panty. She didn’t even notice
“Hao yako ni clean.” she dished a compliment.
From her slurred speech, it was clear that she was kinda tipsy. The alcohol had began taking its toll on her.
“Thanks,” I smiled with appreciation.
“I see unapenda Hip Hop. Pia mi napenda. What’s your favorite Hip Hop verse of all time?” she grilled me.
I was kinda impressed by that question. It portrayed a level of intelligence. People generally ask things like “What’s your favorite song?’ They never go into details like verses. It showed keenness on her part and attention to detail.
“My favorite verse of all time has to be Jay Electronica’s verse on the remix of Kingdom.” I responded.
“Oh yeah…that’s a good one. I know that song Kingdom, the remix. It’s deep. Si ni Common featuring Vince Staples and Jay Electronica,” she confirmed.
“I see you know your Hip Hop very well, I like that.” I told her
“Yeah…I do.Thanks to my bros, They all love Hip Hop and I am the only girl kwetu so I found myself loving it too.”
We continued to engage in endless chit chat and soon as I was making her laugh out loud. We had even forgotten that the second half of the game had already started. Her beauty had distracted me and some chemistry was forming in the test tube of flirtation that was my bedroom. I knew she was a girl I’d love to bang. Bubbly chicks like her always tend to be either stubborn or wild in bed and I was willing to find out. But as I was planting the seeds of seduction, one of the guys who came with Gidi showed up.
“Boss, unadu nini na dem yangu? Mmekaa huku sana. ” he barked. He was clearly angry. I swear fumes were even coming out of his ears and nose, like smoke out of the kitchen of a boarding school.
“Do ivi. Chill. Mi sikujua ni dem yako. Na tulikua tunabonga tu.” I tried to calm him down.
“Ati hukujua ni dem yangu? kwani venye nlikam na yeye ulidhani ni nyanyangu?” he fired back.
Dude was clearly angry but he was now talking garbage – Dandora dumpsite kind of garbage. I wasn’t gonna have any of it.
“Skiza boss, Uko kwangu sawa? tulia ama ujitoe.” I warned him.
“Siendi mahali. Mbwa wewe.” he was insulting me now. I could see he was kinds drunk too.
I stood up. I am never a fan of violence. I hate violent people. I always cut off friends who tend to show violent tendencies. I always believe that any misunderstanding or duel can be tackled through the mind and not physically. I can’t remember the last time I fought someone, I love fights yes…but in movies and sports, not in real life.
But here I was, ready to engage this mofo who had come to the sheriff’s yard and started acting silly. He was eager to show his girlfriend who the man was. He was feeling himself and saw me as a piece of cake. Without wasting time, he charged towards me like a bull in a rodeo. He swung a fist but I ducked and he missed. Wow! I was impressed with myself. So watching a lot of movies really helped. Deep inside, I clapped for myself. I knew this was my chance to counter. Without thinking too much, I bent slightly and charged forwards to tackle him with a Goldberg spear. It was effective. I took him all the way to the wall before we both fell on the floor.
Gidi and the other guys were still in the sitting room, unaware of what was going on. But when June started screaming and asking us to leave each other alone, I knew they would be here in the next few microseconds. The guy was now holding me on a lock on the ground and I couldn’t throw a punch. However, I managed to break free and stood up.
He stood up too and swung another punch. But I ducked and he missed again. Holy Nebuchadnezzar!. At this point I was becoming really proud of myself. I was thinking I need to enroll in the WWE or UFC or something. Maybe challenge Anthony Joshua for his title. Maybe I have a natural talent in this business na mi hukua nimekanyagia.
As Mr.Angry was standing there, disgruntled by his amature misses and trying to regain his balance, I clenched my fist and directed a fast upper cut to his unprotected chin. My knuckles landed on his beard which felt like new steel wool, rough and hard. His head whipped back, his body arched backward, all of his momentum snapping back on him like a broken rubber band. He lifted right up off his toes, clearing the ground. For one long moment his body hung in the air. Then he landed with a thud on the floor. I couldn’t believe it. I had done all this or was there an invisible side kick helping me. Blood was coming out of his mouth and I was now looking down at him Muhammad Ali style like this……
Gidi and the other guys arrived and pushed me back. They also restrained the guy from engaging me any further after he got up. His eyes were red and so was his mouth. Deep inside he wanted to crush me to powder but I had proven to him that he was no match for me.
“June, Kam twende home,” he barked again like DMX as he walked towards his girlfriend and took her hand.
“Niache, siendi,” she reacted angrily and knocked his arm off
To our shock, he slapped her. What a mediocre guy. What kind of guy beats women and cant even beat a fellow man? I tried to charge towards him again to knock some more sense to his head but Gidi restrained me.
Erico, the guy who had come with alcohol was clearly unimpressed too. He was a muscular fella, a Hulk kind of human who you wouldn’t wanna mess with. Despite the fact that the silly guy was his friend, he ordered him to leave and go home.
“Unamisbehave sana. Jitoe ama itabidi nikubebe by force.” he ordered.
Erico wasn’t messing around. His friend had to obey and leave. I couldn’t even go to open the gate for him to get out. I was too angry, so I asked Gidi to do it.
After he had left, the other guys went back to the sitting room to continue watching the game and I went back to my bedroom, My mood had been ruined. I thought of sleeping but as I adjusted my pillow, June reappeared. I have never really liked fighting over girls. I could have asked her to just leave too. But then the way that man had hit her, it was sad. He didn’t deserve her.
She came and sat next to me on the bed.
“I am so sorry for all this. Sijui nini hukua mbaya na yeye. Sorry about his behaviour.” she said with tears flooding her eyes. It seemed like she was one of those chicks who are always trapped in abusive relationships.
I took my hand to her face and slid my fingers over her cheeks before moving them to her hair.
“You don’t have to apologize. Mistake haikua yako. Alikuumiza sana?” I inquired as I checked her cheek.
“Sio sana but I am feeling a bit of pain,” she said before she burst into tears once more.
I quickly took my t-shirt and used it to wipe her tears, then I hugged her tight. She cried at my chest for a while as I comforted her. She then lifted her head to look at me. This was followed by that silent stare. it lasted for a moment. We didn’t know what to say to each other.Perhaps it was time for our bodies to do the talking. Without any hurry, my lips moved towards hers. I bent back her head across my arm and kissed her, softly at first, and then with a swift gradation of intensity that made her cling to me as the only solid thing in a dizzy swaying world. My insistent mouth was parting her sugary lips, sending wild tremors along her nerves, evoking from her sensations she had never known she was capable of feeling. And as a swimming giddiness spun her round and round, she kissed me back, hungrily.
I began caressing her and it wasn’t long before my hands were on her boobs. They were fine boobies. The kind of boobies that made you forget the high price of milk in Kenya. Sadly, we hadn’t closed the door though and just as I was thinking of getting up to go lock it, the other chick appeared, bursting us in a compromising position.
“Oops…my bad,” she said before quickly retreating.
June was kinda embarrassed that her friend had caught her kissing and enjoying some firm rubbing on her nipples so she quickly stood up to follow her.
“Hey Charity,…..ngoooja.” she shouted as she rushed after her friend.
Fuck.
At this point I was thinking that someone might have cursed me because my intimate moments have been interrupted so much of late. I remained seated on the bed, holding my head in disappointed. My Luhya manhood was already hard as steel on an SGR train’s body. It was desperate to do a Prison Break from the jail that was my jeans and boxers.
As I soaked in the mixed turn of events, Gidi showed up.
{MID TEXT} Advertisement: Buy very affordable TVs and Phones
“Game imeisha.Tunaishia sasa.” he informed me.
“Imeishaje?”
“3-0. League ni yetu sasa. Game zimebaki ni rahisi” he raved.
We walked back to the sitting room and everyone was standing, ready to leave. June stared at me with both shyness and enthusiasm.
As I walked them out and towards, the gate, she moved closer to me and said,
“Nitakucall ….poa? I’ll get you number from Gidi.” she reassured me that the brief moment we had was likely to continue.
“Poa,” I responded as I hugged both her and the other chick then knocked fists with Gidi and the other guys before waving them goodbye.
………………..
……………….
June kept her promise and called the following day. We’ve been chatting quite a lot after that. She has told me when she’s going to come back to my house…..and yes, it will go down. And when it happens, you will definitely read about it on the next episode of Etemesi’s Tales.
READ PART TWO HERE
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