The first several months of a new relationship are bliss: You can’t keep your hands off each other. You’re having sex once, twice, three times a day. You’re having crazy sex, public sex, porno sex, hair-pulling sex. It’s orgasm after orgasm and your brain is oozing those endorphins that make you feel in love and utterly alive
And then it comes to a screeching halt.
While it’s perfectly normal for sex to slow down a bit after this initial “romance stage,” it’s never a good sign when it disappears completely. Here are five possible reasons she stopped doing you, and how you can turn it around.
She’s Considering Dumping Your Ass
If a woman is on the brink of dumping her man, usually the sex stops. So yes, she might not be feeling you anymore. Feelings die and that’s just how life is
My advice: Be kind and compassionate. Treat your partner with respect, as an equal, and generally be someone other humans want to be around. Surprise her and do things she didn’t expect. If you’re doing all that and she still wants to leave, just remember, some people aren’t compatible,
How To Turn It Around: Ask her what’s wrong before it’s too late. Instead of guessing, assuming, and fearing, talk about it, sit her down and adress the issue. And be the type of trustworthy partner that she can feel good about talking to about things as serious as ‘I’m thinking of breaking up with you…’ . if you are reasonable, she might change her mind
There’s another guy in the picture…and he’s more exciting than you
The worst-case scenario is that she stopped having sex with you because she’s getting it rough, hard and deep from someone else. But I wouldn’t necessarily jump to that conclusion unless there are some signs.
My advice: Pay attention to changes in her behavior. Maybe she’s acting distant, taking calls at odd hours, locks her phone more, comes home late, or changes her social routine. When you see this happening, direct communication is key.
How To Turn It Around: If she is cheating, there are two options: Bolt or forgive her. Personally though, I can never forgive cheating. If you want to continue with the relationship it’s really important to find out what caused her to cheat. Were you not being attentive, or too attentive? It’s not always the guy’s fault, but it’s both parties responsibility to check in with each other to make sure their needs are getting met.
You are boring or weird in bed
Maybe you have weird sexual fetishes……maybe you only want to shag her in the ass and she’s wondering what’s wrong with you. Or maybe you can’t shag her for more than one round. Things like that. No guy wants to hear that he’s bad in bed. But for the sake of saving your relationship (whether it’s a real one or just a friends with benefits), it’s worth taking a hard look at your sex life. A sexually-bored chick might either introduce new types of sexual behaviors and foreplay to increase her interest, or alternatively, she may just want to avoid it altogether.
My advice: Instead of worrying about the amount of sex you’re giving her, try exploring variety. It’s not about quantity necessarily, but quality. Do it in different places with different positions. Plus, alwys make sure you give your best in bed with every oan you meet
How To Turn It Around: You should be looking for more variety (of positions, sex acts, locations, and other details, from the lighting to the time of day.) if you’re the one who is bored, tell her you are bored. If you suspect she’s bored, ask her.
She Doesn’t Feel Sexy Anymore
Often times, when a woman gains weight or just had a baby, she doesn’t feel sexy. Women absolutely need to be feeling really good about themselves in their head. That’s directly connected to them feeling sexy and sexual.
My advice: Addressing her weight gain is not a good idea. It’s more important to be supportive and more attentive to her needs in general, and encouraging her to talk about stuff. If weight is the issue, try to lead by example by eating healthy and keeping up your personal fitness routine.”
How To Turn It Around: It’s key that you don’t point the finger. Instead, come at it from your needs. You can say, ‘I would really like to have more sex with you. What can I do to make this better?’ If you come at it from your needs not being met instead of what she’s not doing, she’s more likely to hear you and not feel defensive.
She feels taken for granted
Yeah….maybe you’ve stopped doing all the good things you used to do for her. When you’re in a relationship, it’s easy to get into a groove of just having sex whenever you initiate it with your partner — without having to do all of the legwork. But if you want to keep the spark alive in your sex life, you’ve got to keep that chase alive, too — and not take your woman’s willingness to give it up whenever you want it for granted. Men need to remember that if they want to get into their partner’s pants, they need to act like how they got them off in the first place. How did you treat and communicate to her before? Maybe she’s just missing the sweet things you used to do. You’ve gotten too comfortable so do something
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