Society

4 Signs She Is Dating A Mubaba

Among the many things Kenyan girls fantasize about a lot nowaydays is dating a mubaba. The economy is no joke and if there’s a man willing to not buy his son a textbook and send the money to you instead, why not take it? After all, husbands going on soujorns with mistresses as bored wives pinch the cheeks of unruly children at home isn’t an entirely new concept. It has been there since the days of the Anglo-Saxons and Norsemen.

But how can you tell that a girl has a mubaba?

She Has Started Posting About Success And Entrepreneurship

Be very wary about girls who’ve suddenly started talking like they are Warren Buffet at a business convention. They used to be all about memes but they are now posting about prosperity and the importance of working hard. It’s weird but when a Kenyan girl lands a mubaba, her brain somehow likens it to getting a high-paying job or running a profitable business. She’ll strongly believe that she is not only blessed but is also very wise. Strangely enough, her advice will be geared towards how to build an empire (something she has no clue about) instead of “How to open your legs at obtuse and acute angles for a mubaba” , “How to avoid getting caught by your mubaba‘s wife” and “the best sex positions to use so as not to be hurt by a mubaba‘s weight.”

Pay Attention To The Photos And Videos

She used to post low-quality photos and videos at ordinary locations. All of a sudden, the videos have mutated in clarity from 480p to 1080p. This means she has either been gifted an iPhone bla bla (what’s the latest version?) or she takes the photos and videos with the mubaba‘s phone. Speaking of the mubaba‘s phone,  if the photos and videos suggest there is a man a few centimeters away but his face is never seen, then he is indeed a mubaba. Either she is ashamed to post him because he looks like Ngolo Kante and Danny Trejo’s spawn or he has strictly instructed her not to post anything because he doesn’t want to get in trouble with Le Wifey.

She Talks Trash About Young Men And Those Who Don’t Spend On Their Women

Mistresses of mubabas view ordinary young men as peasants. It doesn’t matter if you have a promising career. She will label you a shameless minion for even trying to hit on her. Like how dare you. If you see statements like “Young men are so immature” or “Stingy men are so annoying,” she has a mubaba under lock and key. Older men are great at corrupting young women’s minds. The kind of money that the young lady is given and the places she is taken will make her indoctrinated. In an age where equality is emphasized on, she will still believe that it’s a woman’s right to be pampered. She will also see young men like little puppies. Like he’s cute but “no thanks.” When the mubaba breaks up with her, she will suffer from withdrawal symptoms. Any attempt at dating a young man will backfire because she’ll expect so much.

She Emphasizes About Not Judging People

There is obviously some level of guilt in a girl who is dating a mubaba, especially those who are new to this kind of thing. A girl that has dated 5 mubabas or dated one for a couple of years wont feel any guilt but a girl who is on her first rodeo will probably rethink her life every time he almost suffers a stroke while on top of her. When he goes to the washroom to cough and swallow some extra pills, she’ll take some time to post about the importance of not judging people. It’s a way to make herself feel less guilty.  Well, the feelings of guilt will always be there but luckily for these girls, there is always one thing that reassures them that everything is okay. And that thing is the message: PX35678 Confirmed. You have received Kshs 10,000 from Mubaba Munono.

Now go post about success Cynthia.

About Philip Etemesi

I am the sheriff in this town. Writing is my joie de vivre. I am a superman thanks to God. Need to discuss a thing or two with me? Shoot me an email via philipetemesi@gmail.com
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