Dating And Seduction

Heightism: The Discrimination Against Short Men By Women

I love listening to foreign radio stations online. There’s usually a great depth of information and inventive segments that are hard to find in local radio stations. One of my favorite radio stations is New York’s Power 105.1 and my favorite show in that station is ‘The Breakfast Club’ hosted by Charlamagne Tha God, DJ Envy and Angela Yee.

In the show, they have a segment called ‘Shoot Your Shot’ where listeners are allowed to hit on their crushes  live on air while the presenters offer advice, facilitate the hookup or criticize the vibe.

Now recently, a man called in and said he’d like to give a chance to a woman who had been showing interest in him. The man was a lawyer and the woman was one of his clients. He said the lady had been showing real interest in him but she was hesitant to go out with him because he had a girlfriend.

On the call, the man says he has finally broken up with his girlfriend is now ready to go out with the client lady. His mission now is to call the her live on air and inform her that his previous relationship has ended and they are now free to start seeing each other. Pretty easy right?

Mr. Lawyer calls the girl enthusiastically as everyone listens but here’s how she replies;

“I’ve been thinking and I don’t think it was right for me to crush on you. You are perfect except for your height……..Mmmm….You are like 5’4. No offence but I am not sure if I want short kids. We should be friends, I think we would get along really well and have similar tastes/interests.”

Hah. What. A. Bitch.

She is the one who showed interest first and even motivated the man to dump his girlfriend then she rejects him romantically in the first sentence because of a physical characteristic completely beyond his control. Worse, she still wants “friendship” as an option. What’s with women thinking it’s okay to reject a guy then ask him for friendship? Miss Client has just taken bitchery to stratospheric levels. Likely, she’s not even aware of how awful she came across in the phone call.

This is terrible but it’s a reality we have to live in. Heightism is real and it is forever. It cannot be eradicated. You cannot turn into a Martin Luther and demand that women should give short men equal chances with tall men.

If you are not over six feet, you were brought up believing what your parents and teachers told you – that women would like you for you and just be yourself blabbity blah blah blah.  You were also maybe told women preferred tall dark and handsome men, but that was the extent to which height was addressed.  And thus you were sent out into the world, thinking your height was no serious disadvantage.  That like you, women weren’t bigoted against people shorter than them and just as you were comfortable dating a girl taller than you, women would be comfortable dating men shorter than them.

Oh, how wrong you were.  For while not addressed or talked about much, height is arguably a key thing women look at.  When it comes to height, the dating game can be as brutal as a Brock Lesnar fight. It appears that, subconsciously, many women still subscribe to the patriarchal image of what coupledom should look like: a big/tall dude dwarfing his short, slight lady.

Short men, through no fault of their own got a raw deal when the cosmic abyss spit them into existence. Actually, short guys can be compared to fat women. But fat women even have it better. While a fat girl can always lose weight, a short man simply cannot increase his height.  There is no “solution” to height.

Yes, there’s no solution to height but there are ways to relegate your shortness to the bottom tier divisions. There are ways to improve yourself so much that every girl you meet tells herself, “I don’t care that he’s short. He’s a really cool guy. He’s better than most tall guys I know.”

The problem with most short guys is that they permit their shortness to colonize them. They become insecure, esteem-deprived and sad because girls are rejecting them or aren’t showing them much attention. They feel pity for themselves, become sad and as a result, they never get to be good with women.

I am not tall myself. I am the same height with someone like Mayweather and like him I’ve never allowed my height to come in my way. Through intelligence, I have risen to higher grounds that six feet men only dream of.

Life is unfair, and it’s better to make peace with that fact than rail futilely against it for a magical intervention that will eradicate the unfairness. This should help: Understand that as a short man you can still find great success with women despite unfavorable starting odds.


Because women’s initial hindbrain reaction to short guys is that they are less manly, it is important that short men adopt as masculine a frame as possible – be smart, be bold, hit the gym if you can, develop a superb body language, make solid eye contact, know the right things to say when you talk, dress well etc. These are all good things to develop in general for all men, but it is especially critical for short guys..

What short guys need to realise is what’s not gonna stop you getting girls isn’t your height alone it’s where you are, how you behave and who you are as a person. Short guys need to have their shit in check in order to offset their height. Height is an added bonus but not the be all and end all.

Life has dealt you a set of cards remember that whilst some are immovable (height) there are some cards you can change you just need to put in work. Once you are on the right path, you will be thick-skinned and you will keep on improving yourself (not just for the sake of girls.)

Shortness isn’t a seduction killer; it just makes the job harder. In the long run, short and medium seducers, on average, end up having better skills (if they put in work)  than taller seducers because the former have been through the equivalent of trials by fire.

I also support the idea that short men can improve their odds by targeting women shorter than themselves (under the theory that the female preference for male height is relative to female height). It’s advisable for short men to target *slightly* shorter women than themselves, rather than significantly taller women. Women prefer to lay with men who are taller than them. There is a visual dominance aspect to this preference that synchronizes with the female craving for men who are socially and psychologically dominating. In short (heh), women like the feeling they get when they literally and figuratively have to look up to men.

For whatever reason, I always found that the most difficult targets are taller attractive women. They make height such a non-negotiable deal-breaker. It is as if they are subconsciously bound and determined not to have short children, and they have the greatest preference for tall guys.

When ascertaining the height of their perfect match, many women use the formula: h + = . For those not versed in made-up mathematical formulas, that’s her height plus the height of her highest heels – and perhaps add a little more for good measure.

It seems far more acceptable for women to discriminate and even disparage guys that literally don’t measure up. Then the same women moan that there just aren’t any decent men out there. Not surprising, if they’re rejecting a great swath of the male population by setting unrealistic height restrictions.

But women will remain women. You might have a lot of complaints about them but you need them. You just have to find ways to deal with them.

So if you are a short guy, choose your targets wisely and improve yourself as a man. Heightism is here to say. It’s not something that can be eradicated like racism for example. You just have to find a way to deal with it. Don’t ever allow your shortness to make you a whack man. Be aware of your disadvantage but don’t internalize it. Neither should you assume it. A soldier that goes into battle unaware of his greatest weakness or operating on false information is going to fail compared to a soldier that does know his greatest weakness and makes decisions accounting for it



About Philip Etemesi

I am the sheriff in this town. Writing is my joie de vivre. I am a superman thanks to God. Need to discuss a thing or two with me? Shoot me an email via


  1. Frank Johnson

    at 3:03 pm

    After reading this blog and a few others like it, I thought I would present a few tall women episodes in my life during early 20’s, as I was rejected by the women who chased after the Alfa males and showed no more interest in me than glancing at a blade of grass next to the highway traveling at 75 MPH. And this made me think about my own personal experiences with tall women, a slightly different story from this blog, but same result due to being a Beta male.

    I will start with a 6’ tall girl, in a gym, who talked to me with such a look of disinterested she couldn’t have looked or acted more uninterested if she had wanted to. I approached another, who I estimated being 5 foot 9 or 10 inches. She got angry with me for even asking her out and then stuck her finger in my face informing me she didn’t date shorter men. On line, I met a girl 5’11”, and we worked out together once in my apartment complex gym, after that she did not return my two phone calls, there could be others, too, I just don’t remember them all. Now, you may say the rejections were because of my looks, that could be true, but as I approached girls closer to my height, my success rate went way up.

    This blog also made me think about the rejections by tall girls, and it angered me, but not at the time the rejection. Only years later, when I actually tallied them up, did I get angry. I was rejected not because I was fat, bald, ugly, deformed or had a rotten personality. No. The reason I was rejected by all of these women was my height.

    I did date three women who were significantly taller than me, two at 5’11” and one at 5’10”. (I am 5’8”) And all three happened to be 32 years of age, which is more than a coincidence. No doubt, all three wanted a tall Alfa male, and lost, so a safe Beta male was the next best thing. I didn’t grow any taller, and I doubt I got better looking. These women were past their prime and worried. I was in my late 30’s, at this time of my life, after being married for 10 years. It was also at this time, I could easily date younger women, and I did. When I was 38, my first girlfriend was 27, the next was 27 and the next was 24 who became my second wife. I never dated with any intent of marrying a woman my age. Younger women had no issue with me dating them, and I certainly had no issue dating them. I remember going to singles events and seeing very pretty women, who were my age, who I know 15 years earlier wouldn’t have given me the time of day. And even now, may have looked better than myself, but now it was me who had no interest in approaching them. I did not want to take time and money away from pursuing younger women. Why go old, when I could go young?

    I am now married and have 4 sons. I could have provided a good life to any girl. I wanted a taller girl because of the physical turn on and to for fill one of my desires, yet not one single tall girl (in her 20’s) gave me a chance. I was turned down consistently and without a second thought. SO, IF YOU FIND YOURSELF IN YOUR LATE 20’S OR EARLY 30’S WITH NO PROSPECT OF A HUSBAND OR CHILDREN, YOU HAVE NO ONE TO BLAME BUT YOURSELF. There were men like me, who wanted a leggy female, but they, like me, were never accorded the opportunity. (This also applies to average height women, too) And the reality is that the vast majority of tall women will not even consider a shorter man until it is too late. You would think it would be obvious that if you included shorter males in your suitor selection, your odds would increase of finding a mate, for there are a lot more short and medium height males than there are taller ones. So my advice would be to accept the advances of all men and get to know them. I, who would have relished the opportunity of having curvy broad hips and a tapered waist to hold all night and to make love to into the early hours of the morning, was never, not once, even given a chance to start a relationship. Thus, throw away the yardstick, for you may find someone like me, who would love to share his life and love with a leggy lady.

    This is a video is a great parody on female obsession over height, too bad you will never see something like this on comedy central. This is worth watching.

    The web site the video is from is

    By the way, another tie in with this article and be found at this web site.
    This writer tells about women’s rejections in his 20’s, only to find that women now chased after him, in spite of his height, now he is in his early 30’s. He warns of the dangers of the “REFORMED HEIGHTEST WOMEN” who are desperate after wasting their lives chasing after Alfa males and now want a stable Beta with a steady pay-check.
    Here is anther on how women who found the Mr. Average (Beta Males) were worth nothing in their 20’s and now that these women are in their 30’s can’t buy a date, even from the Beta Males, titled “Why women lose in the dating game”
    During their 20s, women compete for the most highly desirable men, the Mr Bigs. Many will readily share a bed with the sporty, attractive, confident men, while ordinary men miss out. As Whiskey puts it at ”Joe Average Beta Male is about as desirable to women as a cold bowl of oatmeal.”
    Here is an interesting article for a women who transgendered to a man, who finds how women treat him poorly due to this height of 5’9”.
    When I identified as female, I was somehow awesome for being on the taller end of femme, but now? Now, I’ve been called a “manlet” for being a hair under average male height – because apparently men get to be treated like shit for something that they can’t control. I’ve also noticed that, while dating women, a lot of them won’t even go NEAR you if you’re under 6 feet tall. Which is bullshit.

    As a woman, I was free to be as shitty as I wanted, in personality, as well – in my (very stupid) younger man-hating years, no one was mad, and people even ENCOURAGED me to be a man hater! Now, as a man, I am apparently not even allowed to voice my opinion on women’s rights. Doesn’t matter that I still have breasts, a vagina, and two X chromosomes – nope. Because I pass as male, I have suddenly lost my ability to understand the plight of poor womenfolk.

  2. sakwa

    at 6:02 pm

    As a short man myself, who has also mostly had success with women of equal or less height and lost many opportunities with some nice women who were taller than me, I think it is their right to choose. It’s not even their decision since it is in their DNA, as crafted by thousands of years of natural selection and evolution, so why blame them??

    I also have some specific characteristics I look for in women that I am not willing to compromise on, e.g I would not get into serious relationship with a woman who is not educated, or who is not at least of above average on the beauty scale. And there are tons of women of my height or less who meet this criteria so lets play…. I have also been very lucky to date a few taller women who simply didn’t seem to care or even notice that

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