Dating And Seduction

Surviving Love Triangles

By Slade Jeff

It is exam time so let’s start by first defining what a triangle is. Okay, from my mathematics a triangle is a figure with three sides, two corners at the base and one sharp corner at the top. I hope I got the description right? Mathematicians? I wasn’t that good with numbers in school so let me know if I hit that or I missed it. And when people talk of love triangles, it is when the hommie standing at the top corner is dealing with two women, all of them babes looking up to him above for the same attention.

That sounds hard already. And since we’ve lost love in this generation, let’s just say relationship triangles. One guy two women. Or one chic two men if she is the man in her relationships. If you have more than three people then it stops being a triangle. It changes to a love pentagon, octagon and sometimes even circle. Think about it, if you have 7 guys or chics what do you call that? a circle of course because that is not even a groupie kind of situation. That is like a merry go round you have right there. Guys holding hands and each waiting for their turn. I don’t know what to do with such because that is some mixed up shit right there. If you are in a circle just leave. You are likely to catch a disease.

So we’ve seen guys die in these love triangles of late and you have to be keen my friend. Nobody said die while dating. You can suffer, struggle and even suffocate but please don’t die. Death is not part of seduction and having fun.

So I will start by telling you what not do when you find yourself in one of these situations. Just before you do something crazy that will land you behind bars, you got to think straight at times;

(1) Do not eliminate competition by illegal means i.e threaten or send them to the other world. Just think about it, is a chic or a dude even worth killing for? If there is something life has taught us by now is that people are replaceable. Your friends four years ago are not the same now from my guess right? You successfully replaced them however important they were. Same here. Do not threaten or kill competition like a street thug killing another dealer for a bigger market share. The sexual marketplace has enough people for everyone. There is always someone out there trust me. BUT I know searching can be difficult especially if however you have now is doing things right, y’knahmean (wink wink).

(2) Do not get possessive if you are at one of the two corners below the triangle. Don’t suck up to the guy or chic for approval or promotion for the main role.

So let’s say you have discovered that you are in a relationship triangle and you are not ready to leave it yet for your competitor. Or you are not just a quitter like you always say in your social media status. Sometimes you haven’t had enough of the guy or chic in control. Or Maybe you were the main all along and the rival just showed up from nowhere like a militia from the bush trying to overthrow a functional relationship. In such a situation you might want to mark your territory. And your territory here means remaining the main and not letting the invader make you a side chic or side guy. That’s all you want to do.

And how do you make sure you remain in the driver’s seat? It is not by fighting back. You don’t wanna fight naah. Treat your competitor like he or she ain’t one. Don’t give them any attention. And you do that by caring less about the relationship. Let me tell what I was told by a wise man that however cares less about a relationship is the one controlling it. Be non-needy. Stay scarce like gold and you will remain valuable to the guy or chic who is trying to bring in a new flame. He or she will see your value when you play hard. Do not be too available with someone who seems to be trying to replace you. Availability is not attractive. It lowers your value.

The second strategy is to not get jealous. Instead get sexier and make him or her see what they will be missing should they try to choose that new entrant over you. Join the gym. Or adopt some dope lifestyle. Make more money and make that loser even question his or her attempt to replace you. When you have nothing to prove to someone because you are on a league of your own, you command respect so effortlessly.

And last don’t be friends with that new comer. Ametoka wapi yawa? Can’t he get someone for himself or herself? He or she must be a loser. Please don’t even associate with such. And if you are the new entrant stay in your place too. Don’t come into a relationship with crazy demands and threats. Kuja polepole nani ama urudi mahali umetoka. This is just charity we are offering.

At last I want guys to understand that relationship triangles have always been there. Our forefathers were more honest about them. They would just marry two wives and they would live peacefully. The main wife would play her role and the co-wife will remain on the side as usual. But this has changed nowadays. Our generation is messed up, they have smoked so much weed they can’t even make one person happy. And they think bringing someone new is the solution instead of fixing the problem. Well, maybe if you need a threesome to spice up your relationship but in most cases third parties create problems. And so does threesomes. But if you decide to stay in a relationship triangle. Or rather survive, just follow through.

I know you like my stuff, check my blog thecomedyblog.co.ke or follow me on facebook (slade jeff).

Papito chocolata

 

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