Characteristics Of Kenyan Sponsors

As you may already be aware, “sponsorship” is the concept of an older, wealthier man taking care of a pretty younger, attractive girl in exchange for ‘one minute sex’. Yes, it’s obvious that sponsors don’t last for more than a minute in bed. Even a jogoo lasts longer on top of a hen than a sponsor lasts on top of a woman. No sooner does a girl open her mouth to moan than the whole thing reaches a conclusion. It’s over! The end! Credits start to roll. And while cumming, the sponsor roars so hard you would think he has banged the girl’s brains out. In fact, ‘roar’ is an incorrect verb to use. I heard that sponsors scream while cumming. They scream like a goat that is being strangled by a python. Maybe the sugarbabies can shed some more light regarding that awful habit.

Anyway, sponsorship typically comes in the form of treats as well as a weekly or monthly cash allowance. The man gives the girl money. The girl gives the man sex companionship. In the end, both parties go home happy while most likely equipped with fresh STIs to transmit,

Basically what we have here is a rationalized prostitution loophole that has been gaining more social acceptability with each passing year. As of 2018, I would estimate that less than 40% of attractive women have or have had sponsors. But as this trend grows and becomes more accepted, we can expect that figure to rise drastically.

Of course sponsors are a quisling emblematic of so much that has gone haywire with society.  But this article won’t go into the cultural implications of the phenomenon they have concocted. For today we’re simply going to focus on the characteristics of sponsors. Let’s dive into it, shall we?

Pot belly

This is the most distinctive feature of old men who shag young women. Kenyan sponsors look like they are the ones that get pregnant after sex, instead of women. They look like they ate all the previous girls they slept with. I wonder how the young girls manage to survive under all that weight. After all, sponsors can only do the missionary position. Any other position would give them a heart attack.

These girls must be having hidden ‘Samsonic’ powers in those weaves or something because their ability to handle all the heaviness is  something else.  Anyway, we all know girls have an amazing ability to overlook or rationalize a man’s physical demerits if he has equal or surpassing merits in his non-physical traits. In this case it’s money

They do it ‘chini ya maji.’

A good number of Kenyan sponsors are well respected men who you wouldn’t suspect are banging their daughters’ age-mates under the radar. Their actions aren’t always immediately discernible. A sponsor  will expect a relationship that’s discreet and private, which means not leav­ing a paper trail of his illicit relationship. He won’t want to be with someone who asks too many questions or expects too much.

Also, regardless of why he’s having an affair, he likely has no intention of ending his marriage. he is just looking for an escape—he wants to fulfill that adventurous fantasy of being with a beautiful younger woman, but still wants to be able to go home to his normal life.

Extremely thirsty and naughty.

Sponsors are more thirsty than Savanna buffalos looking for water in a National Geographic wildlife documentary. Despite the excessive sex and trains of blowjobs they get, their thirst stagnates at alarmingly high levels. They wallow in desire and revel in female submission.

They prefer the time frame between “hello” and “banging” to be as short as possible, in that they don’t waste too much time chasing a girl. What they do is just dangle the opulence to potential gold-digging targets and they’ll flock to him. Same way a home owner dangles a bone to a dog and it comes running. For sponsors, the rule has always been simple all along. “First you get the money, then you get the power, then you get the pussy.”


Super generous.

Sponsors are the everyday Santa Claus, only that their gifts are target-specific. A sponsor understands that the ordinary, beautiful young woman is broke and in desperate need of a good life. He thus takes advantage of this by feeding young girls cash plus treats and making them addicted to the life. A sponsor understands that no girl can refuse to swallow gallons of his almost expired semen after buying her dinner at Kempinski and gifting her an I-phone 7. It’s all part of the trade and part of the world as we know it at the moment.


A sponsor will most likely want to be in control of when and where the relationship plays out. He doesn’t tolerate instances of a girl calling and asking “Uko wapi? Nikam?” Sponsors mean what they say. These men are interested in control. They don’t want a forceful woman. They have enough of that already. They want a girl who’ll be a pretty flower. For each favor they dish out, they expect a woman to bend over backwards to appease them.

So yes, sponsors are all over and they are here to say. Unless the girls decide to suddenly embrace morals,which I doubt is ever gonna happen. To us young guys, they are competition – strong competition. You just have to be a smart and dominant male to avoid kissing the same female lips that have serviced an ancestor’s wrinkled penis.


About Philip Etemesi

I am the sheriff in this town. Writing is my joie de vivre. I am a superman thanks to God. Need to discuss a thing or two with me? Shoot me an email via
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