There is a disease that many men suffer from. It’s not really an ailment that requires you to get a stab on the buttocks by a syringe from a doctor who is angry about poor pay. It’s a self manufactured disease that deserves to be cured nevertheless. Patients of this disease exhibit one common symptom. You meet one of your buddies chilling and looking like he’s been hit by a bulky bout of malaria. Then…
You: What’s up bro? Wewe ni msick?
Him: Zii mazee. Kuna tu huyu dem ananichanganya sana……..
That’s it? Dude is obsessed with a certain female. To simplify things, let’s call this disease kuchanganywa.
Kuchanganywa is when you have given a particular girl the privilege to access your system bypassing every firewall and antivirus, she can log in the core of the system (nobody but you should be able to do it), like a hacker.
It’s a tremendous security breach that can potentially destabilize your whole being at anytime.
The usual advice men give each other when it comes to matters kuchanganywa is to completely remove the girl from your life, never see her again. Banish her like she’s Eve out of the Garden of Eden. While this is good advice, it doesn’t fix the problem permanently. (the girl will still have access to the core of your system, if you meet her one day or hear about her etc, you would be easily destabilized).
What you have to do is revoke her “account”, or at least change her permissions, and put her behind the security controls (firewall, antivirus etc.) like everybody else.
Understand that Kuchanganywa exists in two forms. There is a pre-lungula and post-lungula/ post-relationship expression of the self-inflicted virus. The pre-lungula, or “number one crush”, form occurs when two conditions are met: A chick is seen as a must-have so the guy tries to do everything to get her. The guy keeps telling himself statements like “Maze nikipata huyo dem nitamfanyia ______” (You can fill in the blanks). And when he’s not succeeding, he gets depressed. The post-lungula or “no girl will ever be as good as her”, form of kuchanganywa occurs when the same conditions are met, with the additional factor that the man has bonked the girl before and maybe even dated her but she is no longer his woman.
Post-lungula obsession is always much more damaging to a man’s thinking and self-esteem because it tends to be resistant to therapeutic intervention. Pre-lungula obsession is often cured by simply seducing other women who are almost as good looking as the infectious agent but more enzymatically compatible.
Either way, kuchanganywa is bad because it always assumes a life of its own, burdening the victim with symptoms of fantasies and daydreaming when the object of lust is not around. Kuchanganywa can also blind the victim to alternative sexual opportunities in his midst. A guy ends up focussing on the one woman he is obsessed with and ignores other potential targets around him, many of whom he would have banged if he opened his eyes.
As a man, you are naturally going to value a woman who you spent much effort winning over or invested much resources and money in. Or the one that does special things for you. We value what we think is worth more, and what is worth more is what we worked hardest to get and keep.
I remember in 2014, there is this Giriama chick I dated briefly. She used to come all the way from Mombasa to see me. I loved her like shieeet. She would cook for me, wash my feet and ride me till my balls were empty. Then the devil came. One night my ex, a Luo chick, hit me up, said she missed me, asked where I was and we hooked up. You know how the hadithi goes. We had sex and as expected, the coasto chic discovered and dumped me.
For a while, I felt lost. I begged her to come back but she wouldn’t. So I said ‘fuck it’ and went on a rampage, banging new girls left, right and center. Guess what? It worked. After about three weeks, I met a girl who had a better body, and a hotter face, than the coasto chic. I’ll spare you the details of what happened next. I leave such to my Etemesi’s Tales series. All I can say is my obsession with the Giriama beauty was instantly cured. Presto whammo. Just like that. I had a new sparkly object in which to discharge my seed.
What I am saying is the best way to forget an ex or a woman who was too sweet in bed is to sleep with other women as quickly as possible. Go fuck other hotter women. Sample some fresh and new cunt. No obsession can withstand such an assault on its mind warping parasitism. It’s the only way you will realize that there is better and fatter fish in the sea.
Just make sure these new women are at least as good or more electrifying than the one causing kuchanganywa. If you are carelessly and indifferently drowning your sorrows in uglier pussy, Your kuchanganywa will GET WORSE.
My buddies often ask me how I don’t even seem to bother when I lose a girl or when I don’t get a girl that I want. Every time they ask this, I give them the same answer. Develop your own self and don’t depend on women alone for your happiness.
To me, it doesn’t matter if the girl dumps me, she stays or I drop her. Because at the end of the day my life won’t change at all. I can drop a girl after being together for years because to me, she was only 5% of my life. No hesitation, no looking back. For me she was and always will be- just a girl. I love myself first.
A lot of guys blow their chicks up beyond proportions, pedestal them, worship them, invest everything etc. This makes it considerably harder to disassociate and stop thinking about her. And for what? It’s just an illusion.
Don’t be emotional. Don’t be desperate. Just like hair strands inside a kinyozi, women will always be in plenty. Never get obsessed with a single female.
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