Utamu In Watamu | By Divalicous Shiko


Adult Content: Do Not Read If You Are Holier Than Thou

I sat back against the leather seat in the booth we were occupying and gazed out at the crowd packed into the club. Shouts and laughter competed with the bass pumping from the speakers, and people were downing bottles like it was a competition. We’d been amongst the chaos on the dance floor earlier, but the heat and crush of bodies had become too much so we’d moved to a quieter corner away from the flashing lights.

By the way. Asante for tagging me along Fiona” I said, glancing sideways at my new friend.’s nothing boo. You know I love you so much.” Fiona responded.

Fiona was my latest friend and we had grown tight very first. She had a rich boyfriend called Ben. When he wanted to take her to Watamu for her birthday, she insisted that I should come along. I know most guys don’t like it when women bring their friends to a date or a private romantic moment but I didn’t care much. I had never been to Watamu before and me being a girl who likes having fun, I didn’t hesitate to come along with them.

Ben had booked a private cottage that we were staying in during our time in Watamu. We had spent the day swimming but tonight we had partied like we were in Ibiza.

Fiona took another sip of her liqour and tucked her shoulder-length blonde hair behind her ear. Her dark eyes filled with amusement as she lifted her glass to her lips once again.

“Mimi nafeel usingizi sasa,” I said. It was 2 am.

Ben leaned in and rested his forearms on the table. “You want to go back to the cottage?” he asked.

“Yes.” I responded

“No, she doesn’t want to go to sleep.” Fiona jabbed her elbow into my side. “Tell him.” She was a little tipsy.

Ow!” I pressed my lips together, staring across at Ben as I considered my options. His eyes were fixed on me. I swear he had been looking at me in a thirsty manner all throughout our vacation. I wasn’t imagining it. I even remember when Fiona and I had been swimming in the pool earlier in the day. He kept staring at me and an erection even formed on his shorts. I bet Fiona didn’t see it.

But I felt he was kinda cute. Or maybe it was just the fact that he was rich. All young rich guys look cute.

His dark hair appeared almost black in the dim light, and the way his big eyes cruised lazily over me made me kinda turned on.

Seeing that I wasn’t buying her idea of staying, Fiona downed the rest of her drink and set her glass on the table with a clunk.

She then turned my head, grabbed my puffy cheeks and planted a long kiss on my lips.

I was shocked.

“Okay let’s go sleep guys.” she said like she had done nothing

Fiona was naughty and everyone knew. She had brought up her bisexuality in a conversation with me weeks ago then confessed her attraction to me not long after that. It had left me feeling awkward, flattered and a whole host of other feelings I didn’t want to examine too closely back then. We both knew it wouldn’t go anywhere and had managed to joke about it at the time, but she still made a point of reminding me every now and then how cute I was.

Perhaps me and you can have some private fun tonight then Ben anaeza enda alale,” she shocked me even more..

“Ummm….I……I…siko sure” I shoved my long dark hair over my shoulder and tugged the bodice of my strapless blue dress a little higher.

I looked her over slowly, taking in the black dress hugging her figure and the silver pendant dipping into her cleavage. Her full lips were painted red and I’d always thought she had the most beautiful eyes, so expressive and full of life. If I ever had a change of heart and decided to go there with a woman, I could do a hell of a lot worse than going there with her. It was just the thought of lying naked with her in a bed, parting her legs and moving in between them—my mind refused to head in that direction.

I glanced over at Ben who appeared entertained by the conversation but wisely decided to keep his mouth shut.

“What do you think Ben?” Fiona asked her boyfriend, sliding her hand onto my thigh and squeezing as she quirked a brow at him. “Do you mind me having fun with my new best friend just for tongight? After all I am always with you kila usiku”

“Okay, let me take you girls back to the cottage then you can do whatever you want. Mimi nitaenda kulala.” Ben agreed.

Fiona then turned back to me.

“Don’t be surprised Shiko. He knows I am bisexual. He allows me to have fun with other women from time to time,” she assured me as she looked back at me.

A half smile formed on my lips and a flurry of butterflies filled my stomach. I drew a bracing breath as I tried to sort through my thoughts. How did we even get to this point? One minute I’d been feeling past my used by date then the next I had my friend hitting on me—again.

My gaze flicked across to Ben then returned to Fiona. The scent of her flowery perfume drifted toward me. She sat so close that the skins of our thighs were pressed together. I won’t lie. Her constant talks of bisexuality triggered a tiny amount of curiosity in me.

She appeared to forget about me for a moment and stared at a point somewhere over my shoulder, then I saw her mouth soften and her lips part. “Oh, wow,” she said. My eyes narrowed and I turned to see what had inspired that reaction, discovering an old mzungu man and a dark Kenyan woman on a table not far away from us, kissing in a way that made me think they’d be looking for somewhere private pretty soon.

I noticed the man’s hand slide up his African woman’s short skirt, the material bunching over his wrist and leaving her pink panties on display. His fingers swept around to the front and dipped into the elastic at the top of her thigh. The heat in the room seemed to climb a few degrees and I took a deep breath, holding it as I watched his hand begin to move.

I couldn’t believe they were doing this right here in front of us. Ben followed our line of sight, his eyes widening at the view. We watched in silence as the woman’s hips rocked against the man’s stroking fingers, both of them lost in their own world while the noise and activity continued on around them. The idea of doing something like this in a crowded place caused a rush of excitement inside me.

Fiona’s hand moved higher on my thigh and my legs relaxed without me even being fully aware of the movement. I couldn’t tear my gaze away from the couple. The woman tilted her hips and pushed closer to the mzungu’s body. They were both so into each other they didn’t appear to notice or care that they had an audience.

I stole a quick glance at Ben. His searing gaze sent warmth spreading through me. I looked back to the other man and noticed his fingers had picked up their pace. The woman’s hips ground against him as their kiss grew in intensity. I shifted in my sitting position, uncomfortably aroused, watching as she pulled her mouth free and pressed it against his throat.

A waiter was just a few metres from them but he was pretending like nothing was happening.

Her chest moved with her heavy breaths. He looked to be struggling, too. His head lifted and he swept his gaze over their surroundings as if he’d only just realised they were in a public place. His attention suddenly came to rest on me and my heart thumped so hard I could feel it without even touching my chest. Kissing her had left his lower lip moist and swollen. A slight smile crossed his face as he watched me. Our gazes remained connected until the woman finally let out a strangled cry, coming with a shudder against his hand.

I could feel Fiona’s breaths against my neck as the woman’s knees wobbled. The man wrapped his arm around her to hold her steady, then kissed her cheek and spoke to her in a voice so low the words were drowned out by the music. Although the urgency had faded, they indulged in another long kiss, then while my breaths were still coming quickly and my pulse continued to race, he took her by the hand and led her away. He was definitely going to fuck her like a maniac.

I watched in stunned silence as a group of rowdy guys filled the seats they’d vacated. They sat with their backs to us watching the action on the dance floor, effectively blocking off the exit and our view of the rest of the club.

The couple’s departure left me feeling restless and needing release. It had all felt so surreal that if my body hadn’t been telling me otherwise I would have been convinced it had never happened. Beneath the table my legs spread even further and Fiona’s hand slid up the inside of my thigh, stroking my sensitive skin. I looked down in surprise to see it there.

“Fuck, that was hot,” she said. “Did that turn you on?”

Unable to speak, I nodded quickly and kept my eyes on her as she touched her lips to my hot cheek.

“Pull your panties chini kidogo,” she said.

Sorry?” I reacted.

I am a naughty girl but I never really do anything extreme in public. I wasn’t sure if I was comfortable with this

A shock of adrenaline coursed through me and I gasped, glancing across at Ben. The desire welling inside me told me to go for it but my stomach fluttered with uncertainty. With the crowd spread across the front, no one would know what was going on. I wasn’t sure if I could actually do it but after watching that display it made me at least want to try.

My smile trembled as I dipped my hands beneath my dress and lifted my hips. I hooked my thumbs in the waistband of my panties and shoved them down my thighs a little

Fiona’s hand resumed its position on my thigh and our eyes met as her fingers climbed higher. She swirled her palm over my soft skin, then gently pulled my leg toward her to widen the gap between my thighs. The way she watched me made me feel warm inside.

The tension between the three of us was palpable. Ben knew what was going on and he looked like he was only just managing to keep it together. Fiona’s breaths were coming fast.

The first touch of her soft, seeking fingertips against the outer edge of my pussy sent a shockwave of pleasure through me. She ran her palm over me then kept her attention on my face while she dipped one finger inside, trailing it along the length of my pussy. “Uko so wet,” she said.

Inside me was a mess of emotions. I wanted to pull away, I wanted to push closer. The way Fiona and Ben were looking at me made me feel so desired, but the novelty of it all created a feeling of self-consciousness in me. “God, I don’t know what to do.” My gaze travelled down my body, watching the way the material of my dress shifted with the movement of her hand. My chest lifted and fell with my shallow breaths.

“You don’t have to do anything.” Fiona kissed my cheek and began massaging my pussy. “Just sit back and let me make you come.”

The breath rushed out of me and desire had my heart slamming against my ribs. During all our weeks of friendship I’d never once seen this aggressive side of her. I checked the guys sitting nearby to make sure their backs were still turned.

Fiona leaned closer before asking. “Unafeel poa?” 

“Ah-hah.” I rested one hand on her knee, bracing myself as she continued sliding her fingers through my wetness.

She kissed the edge of my lower lip. “Do you want me to keep going?”

I stared at Ben while I answered her. “Yeah.” The word came out sounding like a breathless sigh.

“I’m gonna work your pussy until you come all over my hand. You know that, don’t you?”

God, I couldn’t take any more. It all became too much. I turned my head and pressed my lips to hers, not caring if anyone would stare at us.

I heard Ben groan even from across the table. I could only imagine what was going through his mind right now. Fiona sighed as our lips met. Her mouth was so soft and warm. She moaned and swept her tongue over mine as her fingers slipped inside me, pulling back to plunge into me again. My hips lifted from the seat and I cried out against her mouth.

She rubbed her thumb over my swollen clit and I arched my back, thrusting my tongue into her mouth. I’d given up trying to make sure no one could see what we were doing. I didn’t care. All I wanted to do right then was come.

I slid my hand up her leg and gripped her thigh. Through the haze of pleasure it dawned on me that I wanted to touch her, too. I tried to reach for her but our positions made it too awkward and I let out a sound of frustration. She pulled her mouth from mine and trailed her lips to my ear. “Don’t worry about me,” she said. “Just focus on you.”

Sensation clouded my thinking and I raised one knee to rest it out to the side. I lifted the hem of my dress, exposing her hand and my slick, wet pussy. Her fingers were shiny with my moisture, her nails a stark ruby red against my flesh.

I glanced across at Ben, my heart thudding at the look in his eyes. He looked like he wanted in on the action. The look of pleasure on my face was turning him on. I kept my gaze locked with his as my hips lifted and my inner muscles pulsed. My stomach clenched.

The combination of Ben’s steely gaze and her soft touch made me lose it. I braced myself and gripped her thigh, pressing my other palm hard into the seat. I rocked my hips to meet her sliding fingers and watched Ben as my mouth dropped open. I came so hard it left me light-headed. My stomach clenched, my thighs trembled. Pleasure shuddered through me but I wasn’t done.

Fiona moaned at the sounds of my release and kept touching me, giving my pussy soft, wet smacks to intensify the tingling arousal swelling my clit. Her free hand slipped around my back, curving over my ribs to clasp my breast through the bodice of my dress. Her mouth pressed to my throat, her lips teasing the underside of my jaw.

I couldn’t sit still. It began rising inside me again. I looked down at her hand. Her fingertips continued the gentle slapping motion against my clit, the touch sending vibrations through my pussy that built the pleasure inside me until I wanted to scream.

Ben stood up from the opposite side of the table and walked over to sit beside me. I was now sandwiched between him and Fiona. I wasn’t sure I wanted him this close to me but I was feeling to sweet to think straight.

He groaned and paused to give me a long look. He seemed to find what he needed in my expression because he reached for Fiona right in front of me and pulled her toward him. I leaned back as he took her mouth and kissed her. His hand moved down to meet hers, his fingers dipping inside my pussy before I even knew what I was going on. What? Were we serious? The three of us? Here in a club?

Ben had invited myself into my pussy but I wasn’t sure I wanted to kick him out. The feel of two hands was even stronger.

While Fiona’s attention on my clit turned to a slow, deep massage, Ben curled his fingertips forward and gave me the firm rubs .

Having them kissing right in front of me while they both played with my pussy became too much. Together they made me come again. My body jolted as a low-pitched cry tore from my throat and my hips lifted from the seat.

I trembled all over and my thighs wanted to clench together but their hands kept them apart. Eventually it all became too much. “Oh, God, no more. No more,” I said. I pushed their hands away and tipped my head back, sucking in great gulps of air.

Fiona stopped kissing Ben to turn to me. “You’re so sexy,” she said breathlessly.

“Thanks…and you are so…..I don’t even know what to say.”

Ben leaned in close and in a husky voice beside my ear said, “Twendeni sasa.”

I turned to him to nod. My eyes met his and the desire I saw in those blue depths took my breath away. I pulled my panties back up. He smiled as he grabbed my hand and pulled me from the the table. I clasped Fiona’s wrist and dragged her along with me.

As we headed out a bouncer whispered to us

“Nimeona kenye mumekua mkifanya, lakini endeni tu. Next time muende lodging.” 

What a kind guy. Another bouncer would have kicked us out. We acknowledged his words and got out of the club.

We took a taxi and when it pulled up at our cottage several minutes later, I interlocked my fingers with Fiona’s and rushed along the path with her to the front entrance. Ben paid the driver and caught up with us a few moments later. The caretaker of the place opened the doors for us before closing them and going back to sleep. His room was in a far away secluded area from the main house. If we decided to engage in our nastiness, he wouldn’t see a thing.

Instead of quenching my desires, Fiona’s finger game at the club had made me even hungrier for more. I wanted to fuck with her all night.

I knew I probably should have taken her into the living room where we could relax for a while before we became more intimate, but I had a feeling that if I stalled right now it might just give me time to talk myself out of this. I flicked on the light in the hall and took her straight to my bedroom. Her hurried steps matched mine, giving the impression she felt the urgency, too.

As expected, Ben couldn’t stand being left out of the action. He sidled by me and moved ahead of us into the room, leaning over the bedside table to switch on the lamp. A soft yellow glow flooded the space, illuminating the burgundy bed linen and the cream-coloured drapes covering the window. A couple of outfits I’d tried on earlier were strewn over the foot of the bed. I released Fiona’s hand and gathered the garments, walking across the beige carpet to lay them over the arm of the chair in the corner.

She sent me a smile and looked around as she kicked off her shoes.  My heart hammered as I followed her lead and took off my own heels, nudging them under the bed with my toe. I watched as Ben approached me, looking at me in such an intimate way it was hard to believe anyone else was in the room with us. He slipped his hand around the back of my neck and pulled me close, his lips brushing mine with the softest of kisses. My hand trailed over the flat plane of his stomach, smoothing lower to caress the bulge in his jeans.

Fiona stepped into the space behind me and wrapped her arms around my waist. The warmth of their bodies enveloped me, leaving me torn between leaning into his hard strength and pressing back against her softness.

He growled and clasped my face in his hands, pressing his lips to mine. He took control of my mouth with a barely restrained force, his thumbs stroking my temples while his tongue explored. Fiona’s hands began to wander, one palm smoothing over my breasts while the other drifted around to my back. She swept my long hair aside, the gentleness of her touch making me shiver. Her lips moved over my neck where she left slow, wet kisses as she dragged the zipper down.

The material gaped open and cool air whispered across my skin. Her fingertips trailed down the length of my spine, urging the dress to drop to my feet, leaving me standing there in just a black strapless bra. She turned me in her arms and Ben’s groan of protest had her letting out a laugh.

Fiona pulled me against her, taking over where he’d left off. Our tongues tangled and my hands sank into her hair, holding her to me. I had briefly enjoyed kissing Ben but this felt so different. Her lips were more supple, her skin silky where it rubbed against mine. Her soft moans and touches were so feminine compared to the hard muscle and firm hands I’d grown used to over the years.

The warmth of Ben’s body left me. While my mouth moved with Fiona’s, the sound of a zipper lowering behind me kicked my excitement level up another notch. I heard the rest of his clothing hit the floor soon after, and when he returned to me the length of his condom-covered erection pressed against my lower back. I was so glad he had a condom on.

I thrust my tongue against Fiona’s and my hands slid from her hair to her shoulders. I helped her work the thin straps of her dress down her arms until she’d managed to slip free of them and bunch the material around her waist. A moan sounded in my throat and I stopping kissing her, pulling back to take in her bare skin.

She hadn’t been wearing a bra. My gaze travelled over her as she pulled her long silver pendant over her head and dropped it from her dangling fingertips. My breath caught in my throat at the sight. Her breasts were slightly fuller than mine and I watched as her dark nipples tightened under my gaze. A feeling of passion tore through me that I couldn’t contain. With tentative touches I began to explore, trailing my fingertips over the hard buds. A sigh slipped from her and she clasped my elbows.

Ben flicked open the catch on my bra and whipped it from me, reaching up to cup my breasts from behind. His mouth moved to my neck, leaving soft, tender pecks on my skin. His hands mimicked what mine were doing to Fiona, making it hard for me to concentrate. I framed her face with my palms and pulled her in to kiss her softly.

Fiona’s lips skimmed over mine as she shoved at the material gathered around her hips. It fell to her feet and we both stepped out of our dresses. Ben released me, and my mouth kept teasing Fioa’s as I backed her toward the bed.

She turned me around and smiled against my mouth, then gave me a shove that had me falling onto the mattress. I let out a surprised laugh and worked my way back against the pillows, looking up at her as she stood at the foot of the bed wearing a pair of blue lace panties.

Ben stepped in behind me and slipped his arms around my waist. Her eyes remained locked with mine as his palms swirled over my stomach.

One of his hands swept over my breast and clasped the firm mound while the other disappeared down the front of my pussy. My eyes drifted closed and a surge of desire took hold of me. He leaned forward to kiss my cheek, his gaze meeting mine as his fingers moved against my clit. Fiona massaged her breasts while she took in the scene.

He noticed what she was doing and gave her a half-smile. He had me writhing against him, the sound of my long, drawn out moan making the moment feel so intimate, so arousing.

Quickly, I stretched my hand backwards to take hold of his balls. Ben’s eyes closed momentarily when I began stroking him. Fiona continued to caress her nipples while my knees moved restlessly against the mattress.

My eyes opened again and met hers, the need in them making me moan and pinch my nipples. I leaned back against Ben’s chest as I stroked his balls. My breasts thrust out and my stomach tightened with my quick breaths.

The newness of the situation and the sight of his strong hand kneading my breast kept Fiona on edge. We held each other’s gaze as his fingers continued moving inside my thighs. I shuddered against him, my ass pressing back into his groin. He groaned and kissed my back, holding me up.

Fiona’s cheeks were flushed and she bit her lip. We watched each other in that moment and it seemed like our bond strengthened; the connection, the complete awareness of each other, it made me feel closer to her than I ever had before.

I smiled as she run her hands across her skin. My gaze traveled over her naked body, dipping between her thighs to her smooth pussy. It was the first time I’d ever seen her naked in the flesh and she looked so beautiful, so perfect, that it only made me want her more. She climbed the bed and crawled over the mattress, She then repositioned the pillow, lying flat on the bed to bring me down on top of her.

She was now directly in front of me with her legs wide open while Ben was behind me.

Her legs spread to accommodate me and I settled between her thighs. I looked over my shoulder to see Ben kneeling at the base of the bed. The hunger I saw in his gaze made my stomach churn.

Fiona bent her knees and parted them further, allowing me to settle deeper into the cradle of her thighs. Ben moved closer and grabbed my hips.

She giggled then. Fiona and Ben watched each other as Ben guided his cock inside me. My smile slipped into a long, husky moan and her lust-filled gaze stayed on him as he pulled back to thrust back into me again.

The moment felt like the strangest dream. My mind still hadn’t adjusted to the fact that this was actually happening. I knew I’d be reliving these moments later when it was all over and I had some time to think, but the idea of getting fucked by my best friend’s boyfriend would have been incomprehensible if anyone had suggested it to me even a few hours ago. Now here we were.

She glanced at Ben as he thrust in and out of me, his expression so warm that it helped ease the tension inside her. Her focus remained on him as I let her knees fall out the sides. Her eyes then moved to my face then to my bare ass and back to my face. She then followed my gaze and watched as I kissed her upper thigh, leaving soft pecks as I worked my way inward to her pussy. She couldn’t take the suspense any more and draped an arm over her eyes. She held her breath, letting it out slowly when my tongue glided over her again.

I slipped my tongue between my folds, licking from the bottom of her pussy to the top. “Oh. That’s…amazing.” She pulled er arm away from er face, watching Ben as he dug his fingers into my hips and sank inside me. I pushed my tongue into her at the same time, my elbows keeping er thighs spread while I used my finger on her swollen clit.

Meanwhile, Ben drove into me from behind. My muffled cries against her pussy had excitement surging inside her. She cradled the back of her head and moved her hips, sucking in a sharp breath as my tongue slid over her clit. The wet warmth of my mouth, the silkiness of my hair tickling her inner thigh…the sensations overwhelmed her and she began writhing on the bed, trying to get closer then pulling away when my touch became too intense.

I slipped two fingers inside her, massaging her inner walls while my tongue teased her clit. She let out a deep sigh and moved against my mouth, sliding her palms over my torso. Ben picked up his pace, plunging deeper inside me. My mouth left her pussy and I leaned my cheek against her thigh, drawing in air while my fingers kept pushing inside her.

The sound of Ben’s hips smacking against my ass pushed Fiona closer to her own release. She teased her nipples as my breaths whispered over her. My soft panting sent pleasure rushing through her body. My fingers continued their slow, steady rhythm, stroking inside her. She twisted, lifting her hips from the mattress.

I turned my head to look at Ben briefly and he kept his eyes on hers.. I jolted against her as his thrusts gathered strength. She squeezed her breasts and ground herself against my plunging fingers. My mouth returned to her pussy then I flicked my tongue over her clit. When I drew the swollen nub between my lips and suckled softly, she let out a low moan and tried to press her legs together.

She released her breasts and lifted herself up on her elbows, watching me from a semi-reclined position as my tongue circled her clit and Ben’s dick hit my deepest parts. My stomach tightened with the quick breaths coming from me and my arms trembled. He hit a sensitive spot and I cried out, “Ben. Don’t stop. Don’t stop.”

Fiona’s head tipped back, her long hair swinging against her shoulder blades. With my tongue pressing and swirling over her clit, with my fingers working inside her, she lifted her hips and came beneath my mouth. It shuddered through her with intense shocks of pleasure. Her breasts thrust out, her nipples were hard and her pussy tingled as shivers spread over her skin. I held her still and kept up her attention until she jerked and moaned with the last spasms of her release.

Everything became a blur of motion to me after that. Fiona fell against the pillow, gasping for breath and watching as Ben gripped my hips and plunged into me. I rested my cheek on her lower belly and clasped her breasts. She swept my hair from my face to see my flushed skin, my tightly closed eyes and soft, open mouth. My lower lip still glistened with moisture. I felt such love for her in that moment that it took my breath away.

She reached down and caressed my boob, cupping my flesh, teasing my nipple. The quiet whimpers that left me with every stroke of Ben’s cock told me I wouldn’t last much longer.

His thrusts increased in intensity, leaving me unsure where to look. The sounds he made were guttural and my stomach flutteredw.

I finally let out a long moan and my body tensed against hers. “Oh god, oh god, oh god. Fuck. Fuucckk.” My limbs quivered, my harsh cries combined with the dull slapping of Ben’s final thrusts. My head turned and my eyes shifted to him; his gaze bored into mine, his biceps flexed. He groaned and came with a long, shuddering climax inside her. I came right after him too.

A feeling of calm filled the quiet that followed. I moved higher on Fiona’s body and rested my head against her bare breasts. Her fingertips stroked lazy circles over my spine and she gave Ben a contented smile as he collapsed beside her. He leaned over and pressed a kiss on her lips. “God, I love that you let me do this,” he said.

I hooked my hands under the backs of her shoulders and hugged her. The feel of my naked body pressing into hers made me feel so close to her that I didn’t want the moment to end.

Ben leaned down and took my mouth in a slow kiss before lying on his back. My eyes drifted closed and I shook my head, surprised by how relaxed I felt being with both of them in this way.

I didn’t know if it would happen again. It could turn out to be one of those situations where once the curiosity had been satisfied there’d no longer be any desire to take it further. I definitely wouldn’t dismiss the idea just yet, though.

We had one more day in the coast and maybe we just might get tempted to do this again. After all, who wouldn’t want some more utamu in Watamu?

About Divalicious Shiko

I am a proud slay queen who also happens to know how to write. I aspire to be a dollar millionaire even though I spend my free time doing nothing to reach that goal. Apart from judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, I also like walking with pizza in town and over-using my neighbour's wifi instead of getting mine.
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