Sex Tips

How To Prepare For A Dick Appointment (A Guide For Ladies)

A dick appointment is when a lady agrees on a date and time to meet with a guy and have sex. She knows it’s going down. In this case, there’s no uncertainty. She has made it clear that she wants it as much as he wants it. All the terms and conditions have been agreed upon.

We no longer live in a ‘guy meets girl, courts her for years until they’re in love but can’t have intercourse with her’ era. Those were the old times. Today, sex plays out quickly like a blog post rather than a Sydney Sheldon novel. There’s nothing wrong with that. Times change. So long as we are responsible, everything’s cool.

Unfortunately, some chicks don’t know how to prepare for a dick appointment. So listen up ladies!!! I’ll teach you how to make preparations, in a way that pleases us men.

Don’t go ‘commando’ (unless he has asked you too)

For those that are not well versed in slang vocabulary, ‘commando’ is a corny term for ‘pantyless.’ So ladies, don’t go to a man’s house when you are not wearing a panty unless he specifically asked you to do so. You might think it’s naughty and a turn on but the first thing that comes to our minds is “she must be a slut.” Panties are sexy. We love to look at panties. More so, we enjoy the feeling of removing a woman’s panty, so don’t make it too easy for us to access. That feeling of pulling a panty down a woman’s legs is so divine. It’s like unwrapping an expensive gift. It makes us feel so proud of ourselves. It’s at that moment that we realize all the hard work we put into kukatia is finally paying off,

Update: My opinion on the above point has changed. I think it’s actually okay for a lady to go without panties. I am now an enlightened man. Don’t wear panties ladies. Throw those things away.

Don’t ask for fare (or to be picked up).

Respectable women find means to get to a man’s house without pressuring him to facilitate it. If you have a dick appointment, the only thing you should ask from a man is directions. That’s if you have never been to his house already.  Don’t ask him to pick you up. You are not a kindergarten kid. Don’t beg for fare either, especially if it’s fare ya kukuja. It’s better to request for fare when you are about to leave than when you are about to come. Understand that a lot of men have found themselves in situations where they sent fare then the lady didn’t show up. So when you ask for fare, the first thought that comes to our minds is, “she might be trying to con me.” It’s hard to pinpoint who to trust nowadays.

Don’t overdress.

There are chicks who show up at a man’s house wearing skinny jeans, shoes, socks, a t-shirt, a jacket or outfits that have tons of buttons and zippers. By the time the man is done taking off her clothes, he’s more tired than a mjengo worker in the evening. If you could barely put the outfit on how do you expect us to take it off? Whether it’s heels or flats, wear them without socks so that they can be easily kicked off. A sexy dress is also preferable since it can just be taken off all at once. Do not wear a long dress that sweeps the floor. The dress should end at your knees or slightly above. The same applies to any skirt. A sleeveless dress or top is also advisable since to give us room to caress your arms. If you decide to wear jeans,make sure it isn’t clinging to your skin too much.

Shave your punani.

Kindly do some deforestation. Mow your lawn. We don’t want to feel like Mau Mau fighters jumping around bushes and thick terrains while we are banging you.  The field should be clean, hairless and smooth.

Keep time.

There are three kinds of time in this word – normal time, African time and female time. When a lady says she’s coming at a specific time she’ll probably show up minutes late so it’s always nice to give her an allowance of 30 minutes extra. But that’s it. Not longer than that.  If we agree you are going to come at 8pm, please come by 8:30 pm at least. Waiting is never fun.  If you know that you can’t make the appointment on time, let a nigga know as soon as possible. Don’t wait until you’re there to start giving excuses.

Leave your attitude or bad mood wherever you are coming from.

In case you were in a bad mood, don’t carry it to a man’s house. When you avail yourself for a dick appointment, it should be all fun and happy times. Smile for the dick. No bitching and being stubborn. Most importantly, make sure you want to do it. It’s foolish to transport yourself to a man’s house then you start acting all surprised and rebellious when he touches you or goes for the kiss. Be mature.

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