Dating And Seduction

Sio Sabuni, Haikwishi

You’ve got a limbically lubed Njeri on your sofa (or bed if you live in a bedsitter). She’s too fine. Minji minji she is. The tension is thick. Your cock has pitched a tent on your jeans. You are trying to cover it with your hands or to adjust your sitting position so that she doesn’t notice it. You want to just go ahead and kiss her but you are afraid she might resist. After all, you’ve seen resistance before. Once bitten, twice shy. What does a young man just looking to get laid do? You wonder why these scenarios aren’t just easy?  Why don’t girls just give it up. After all, sio sabuni, haikwishi. Her vagina will still be there after you are done with it. Why then, is she so mean with it?

I’ve touched on this subject severally. Ladies are the gatekeepers of sex and they have a ‘good’ reason to withhold it. By ‘good’ I mean good for them, not good for men. They are looking after their own interests because for them, sex has baggage. The same cannot be said for us guys.

It’s true that a vagina sio sabuni, haikwishi. But ladies don’t see it in that kind of way. They handle their coochies the way our mothers handle vikombe za wageni. Of course nothing wrong will happen to the cups if they are used everyday but still…..they just have to be for visitors. The same logic applies to women, They want to make sure they give it to the most worthy suitor. So you must try to be the most worthy suitor or at least cheat your way through her continuous assessment tests until you become the A candidate that she can allow to graduate into her punani.

I have always insisted on the importance of fine-tuning a girl for sex before she comes to your place so that you don’t face any resistance when you try to unclasp her bra. However, there are scenarios where there’s no time for fine-tuning. Maybe you just met her recently or maybe you met her a long time ago but she has been evasive with her chatting. As a result, you haven’t gotten ample time to make her know you are interested in sex before she comes over.  But she still comes over. What next?

Reader Jemo shares a very typical anecdote illustrating the precarious tightrope that men usually walk in these types of scenarios.

“Niaje Etemesi, Ni Jemo. Maze nimediscover blog yako juzi na imenihelp sana. Kwanza acha nikushow venye nilipatana na dem fulani nikamess mbaya.

So tulimeet na uyo dem bash flani tu hapa mtaani. Akanishow venye ako stressed na relationship yake. After kumkatia kiasi nikamshow tuende kwangu since kwake ilikua far. Akakubali”

Let’s break it right there first. Girls you have just met don’t bring up problems with their relationships like this unless they are already one labia flap into the idea of cheating. So if a new girl tells you about her relationship problems, you have a 90% chance of banging her if you play your cards right. Let’s continue……..

“So tuko na uyo dem kwangu. Tukaendelea kubonga. Akanishow mashida zake mob saa hiyo mi nimeskia tu. After kubonga for a while akaanza kutoa machozi, Akanishow nimhug…Hiyo sikua nimeexpect maze.”.

Don’t be so quick to hug a chick who solicits it. That’s a mild compliance test to see if you’d fit comfortably into the emotional tampon role instead of the sex god role. I’d have teased her by saying something like, “Hmmm, usikue na mbio. Hakuna haja tuharakishe anything” The idea is to get her begging for your hug, and in the mental space where she feels like she’s chasing you.

So mi nilimhug tu kama fala. Immediately after hug nikasongesha kichwa kumkiss but akaback off  then akasema  “Si nlikushow I have a boyfriend”.

That was predictable. You had made the first mistake by hugging her. She was now doubting whether she should let you shag her. However, you should still have persisted with trying to get sexual with her.

“Sa mi hata sikujua cha kufanya. Mi hukua mse wa kubonga mob but nlishindwa cha kusema for kitu five minutes. After hapo chali yake alimcall nikamshow alenge…..akakubali. 10 minutes zingine zikapita bila mimi kudu any. Dem akaketi tu hapo kama pia yeye amenyamaza. After a while akaanza kuniambia niangalie nywele yake na ati niiguze niangalie kama braids zake ziliekwa vipoa juu alikua ameshukwa mchana. Mi nlimguza tu tena but sikudu any ju sikutaka anireject tena. Sa ni kama aliboeka. After a while akanishow anaitisha Uber aende. Nikatry kumbembeleza aende akakataa. So Uber ilikwom akaenda.”

Jemo, you were getting hardcore signals to proceed carrying her to dizzying heights of ecstasy and to ignore whatever empty protests to the contrary she may have thought necessary to squeak out to make herself feel less like a slut. Her “I have a boyfriend” feint was nothing. When a chick comes to your house, she is open to lungula, otherwise she wouldn’t be there. Girls who don’t want to part their legs will always give excuses to avoid coming to your house.

Of course dem akijileta, she wants to be banged, but she will do everything to test you and discourage you. She wants to be persuaded by your dominance, sexual potency and persistence.  It’s in the nature of beautiful women to resist, test, protest, sabotage and make your job of fucking them difficult. And of course, by the time you wrestle their panties off, they’re dripping wet.

As for your case Jemo, that chick  wanted to feel desired again; obviously her boyfriend is not giving her that. But she won’t just “cheat.” She prefers a situation where ‘things just happen’ so she’ll structure her seduction in a way that absolves her of responsibility for her hoped-for surrender to you.

You should have laughed off her silly first kiss rejection shit test and tried again. You should have persisted. She asked you to twirl her fucking hair. That was a horny chick. You should have escalated gradually, asking her to sit on your lap, tickled her, then kissed her neck, and then kissed her, and then pulled away feigning disinterest.

There’s no way a girl would act the way she acted towards you in the hopes of gaining a “friend” unless she’s one of those silly slay queens or basic bitches. A (thankfully) tiny minority of women amuse themselves by tempting and rejecting average guys in an endless cycle of quasi-dominatrix humiliation. Such girls are pure unfiltered evil.  Hours of teasing that lead to zero conclusion can inflate a man’s sack to a medically inappropriate breaking point.

Jemo concludes…

“Unaeza nicheka tu but ukishare hii story yangu na readers wako itakua poa, Shukran maze blog yako imenisaidia. Sai siezi fanya ujinga kama hio tena.


I won’t laugh at you. The mistake you made wasn’t unique to you. There are many such cases. Plus, I make mistakes too from time to time.

Lesson learned:

Always be escalating. If she murmurs to you to stop, don’t. The key is to be utterly unmoved by her objections, as if you expected it and know she’ll eventually come around. Physically escalate as long as she’s giving in to it, and don’t quit unless she’s walking out your door in a hurry or showing that she’s really angry through facial expressions. Your penis will thank you for it.

Sure, offer token (and temporary) signals of compliance to her rebuffs, but don’t get down on yourself, don’t sulk, and don’t think this means you have to keep your hands to yourself the rest of the night.Agree in words, but not in action.  Simply affirm whatever doubt she voices as if you are going to do what she says, but go on moving the seduction forward.  “It’s too soon.”  “I agree.”  “Maybe we should slow down.”  “I agree.”  “Hata hatujuani poa.”  “I agree.”  “OMG, there’s no way I can fit that.”  “I agree.”  This tactic works better if you pull back a little every time she complains. Then after a few seconds, you resume..

Let’s say you have a hand on her breast.  If she hits the brakes, you move your hand off and stroke the outside of her leg, then move it back up to her breasts after a minute.  Repeat ad nauseum.  With some girls you will be saying I agree 20 or 30 times before she succumbs.  Patience and persistence are your best allies now.

If she already agreed to enter your bedroom, her homestretch resistance is a perfunctory obstacle she tosses in your way which she fully expects (and hopes) you will hurdle. When it’s all said and done, the woman will be invariably happy that you didn’t listen to a single word of protest she uttered; that you barreled through her resistance nonchalantly and drove the ball to the basket. Women respect a man who counters their sexual resistance with sexual insistence even if they aren’t acutely aware of it.

If none of the above work, stop bothering. The problem is her. Kick her out too if it’s not late in the night……lol. There will come a point when persistence turns into desperation.  If she’s really adamant about saving herself for the 100th date and trying to prove to you that she is not easy, bump her down the queue or banish her altogether.  She is now a second class citizen to the other girls in your world.  Your sex and love are valuable and if she wants another shot with you she’ll have to prove herself.





About Philip Etemesi

I am the Sheriff in this town. Writing is my joie de vivre. I'm a Superman, thanks to God. Need to reach out to me? Send an email via I always respond.
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