Today, I was listening to a show called ‘Ebro In The Morning.’ It airs on Hot 97, a station in New York City. I always listen to it online (thanks to Zuku) because of the brilliant hip hop jams that get played.
So a girl called and said she wanted to be hooked up with a new man because she wasn’t feeling the guy that was currently hitting on her. She said the guy was nice and sweet but she didn’t like him because he was short and not a party lover.
The presenters then asked any man that was interested to call in. Guess who called in? The same guy that the chick didn’t want. He said he called because he was kinda hurt by the chick’s statement. What? And the chick said? She told the guy that he should understand and they can just be friends. The guy accepted her friendship offer gladly like a Nairobi county council official accepting a bribe…..because he likes hanging out with her. Thiriously? (inserts random Kikuyu accent)
This is the same issue I touched on in my previous article when I talked about why men should never obsess over one woman. A chick disses you on national radio and you still accept to be cavalierly tossed into the friendzone bin? Insanity that one. Kurogwa!!! Riswa!! This is what we call being a weak male.
I keep preaching this: a man should never accept to be in the friendzone. No man deserves to be in the friendzone no matter the circumstances. It doesn’t benefit you in any way and most importantly, you are unlikely to get out. You will just be like her tissue paper. Something she uses when she’s in need. Getting out of a friend zone and into a lover zone is far more difficult than working from scratch as an unabashed lover prospect. Once a girl has it in her head that you are a harmless castrati, you are never feasting on the coochie.
The story of your life will be playing out like this. You text her at night when you need some girl to chat with, she gives you blue ticks coz some dude’s raw 7-inch penis is burried deep inside her. The next day she texts you asking you to help her with some stuff. And you do it because you are her bitch now. Of course she will be hanging out with you but that’s all. After that you will go back home alone to vigorously masturbate your pimplepeen to the memory of her elbow lightly brushing against your arm when she hastily reached for her smartphone to take a call from the guy she’s banging. Yes, the guy that has saved her as “Side Chick Number 10” and she doesn’t know.
Back to the American guy. Dude is lost. Kwanza that height excuse that he was given is bullshit. Any 6 foot or 7 foot woman in this world would date Kevin Hart with his 5″4 height in an instant….without even thinking twice. Why? Because he has value. I am kinda short and proud too at 5″6 but no woman has ever placed me in the friendzone. Why? Because I have value. I also don’t tolerate any form of bullshit. The problem with the short guy that was blasted on air is neither his height nor disdain for raving. The undoing was that he possibly didn’t display any value. He came out as weak, desperate and obsessed all rolled into one.
It has been proven time and time again that women rarely give the real reason as to why they are rejecting or dumping a man. They just look for something negative in him to put the blame on. This guy had a basket full of stereotypical disadvantages for the woman to choose from.
Nevertheless, he shouldn’t have accepted his demotion to the friendzone. You can always get a female friend anyday anytime. Plus, the best female friends are the ones that came organically. Those ones that you never wanted them in a sexual manner. They just happened to be your neighbor, your workmate, classmate or a friend of a friend. Then you became buddies.
Why accept to be friends with a girl you wanna bang? You know what a real man should have done? He should have put up a brief rant and hang up the phone. Personally, I would have said something like this:
“Ati nini? You don’t even have the guts to tell me these things in person? You have to go air them out on national radio? This is terrible. I thought you were better than this. But you’ve just proven that you aren’t decent. You know why? If you were a decent woman, you wouldn’t even have to look for a man on radio. Men would be fighting for you. And by the way. I am not interested in being your friend. I have enough female friends already.”
**then I hang up the phone****
Simple and precise.
After that you go hunting for other women like a real boss. Friend zone for who?
If, however, you are a man who already found himself in the friend zone with a girl you wanna bang, the best shot at a way out of it is… drum roll please… scarcity.
Disappear. Vamoose. Deprive her of the happy non-sexual emotional support she’s come to expect from you.
Don’t respond to calls or texts. If you respond, do so once and be blunt and clear. Say this in a polite manner “Najua unajua nimekutaka for long. Kama haezi happen naelewa pia. Unfortunately sijiskii kua beshte yako. Bye.”
Then be gone. Don’t engage her in any further conversation unless she shows a change of heart. Disappear on her.
Only pull this move if you know she kinda valued you a lot as a friend. If she never seemed to care about you or even call, don’t bother. Just get rid of her and embark on a new friendzoneless journey. She possibly didn’t have even a pinch of feelings for you.
But if she cared about your friendship, leave her on a good (i.e. congruent) note. During the interim, she might attempt to contact you asking why, as a friend, you’ve been incommunicado. If you are itching to talk, tell her you’ve been busy. Do not explain yourself beyond that. Some chicks might let you bang them if you re-unite with them after long periods of silence.
But it’s not guaranteed. She should be the one to initiate it. If not, well and good. Sort yourself with other women.
Never let yourself get into a scenario where friendzoning is possible.
You should be flirting and teasing all the time and dropping bits of sexual innuendo. Let a chick know, through subtle cues, that you are a fun creature that likes her in a deeper manner than just friendship. This is what successful seducers mean by “make your intentions known”. You should be innocuously flirting, sooner rather than later, so that her subconscious registers you as a candidate vying for Vagina County. Not a sex-starved guy that should be friendzoned. Men who accept the friendzone are losers. Don’t let that be you.
- Heightism: The Discrimination Against Short Men By Women -
- How To Friendzone A Slay Queen (Video) -
- Night Nurses Abandon Koinange Street For More ‘Lucrative’ Opportunities Online -
- The Allure Of Good Punani -
- Etemesi’s Tales | Rise Of The ‘Mjulubeng’ -
- The Gospel Of Missionary Sex -
- Aki Wewe -
- Long Distance Relationships Are A Waste Of Time -
- It’s Not You, It’s Me -
- Etemesi’s Tales | The Kinyozi Massage Girl -